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on the path…tidy little bow

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the short story is that there is very little time to get everything done like I want.

I guess the people who think 20 steps ahead can get things all done in an effeciant manner.

I’m more trial and error and observant of every angle of every possibilty before making a decision. The good part of that is when it’s me making my own decisions it might as well be carved in granite. the downside is that I get frustrated when it’s time to leave and there are loose ends everywhere.

The thing is that this is something I’ve created myself. There really aren’t loose ends.

How unrespectful of me to believe that leaving really good friends and a place I love to tie up in a nice little bow. I’ve had a problem letting go. This takes practice and it’s hard. So many people are helping me in serious ways:

My friend Shoe, is keeping a library of 4 trk cassettes.

The Ashurby’s have let me stay in their guest room 3 nights.

Tom and Suzanne have offered me storage space and a trip to Atlantic beach.

Larry and Linda have offered to mail boxes of things I’ll need later, and rearrange their schedule so I can stay a night with them.

Davak’s Family has also offered a couch and to help sell some stuff on ebay for me. AMAZING!

Natasha has picked up boxes of stuff for drop off at Retails-a thrift store in which proceeds go to help spay and neuter pets.

I have truly amazing friends and I want to thank all of you for your kindness and compassion and support.

Friday at 3:30 I went into shock in a pawn shop selling some gear.
It has occurred to me I don’t need my current studio setup. AND it won’t fit in my car.

Through all this process, I’m begining to understand, things are symbolic of a period of time. Letting go doesn’t diminish me as a person. It is absolutely necessary to let go in order to be clear and completely open for the next experience. Why drag it along for the ride?

Because I’ve become addicted to everything here.
Which is why there is the fear of suffering in leaving my friends and accumulations. And, the fear of leaving a mess behind.

Thanks

Stephen A. Thomas

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 20th, 2006 at 8:36 pm and is filed under on the path, posts & stories . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Responses to “on the path…tidy little bow”

  1. Davak Says:
    June 22nd, 2006 at 4:52 am

    We’ll miss you! The little one got up this morning asking where you were!

    Godspeed. Keep blogging and keep us up to date with your journey.

  2. Jeff Says:
    June 23rd, 2006 at 2:53 pm

    Friends are probably the most valuable possessions we have. Think of it this way: If you don’t feel bad/weird/uncomfortable leaving a place, you never really lived there. At least you know you’ve lived in Raleigh, which should give you the impetus to really live in L.A. I’m starting to believe it’s not how much life you live, or how perfect it is, that matters; just throwing yourself into the living is enough.

  3. The Asherbys Says:
    June 26th, 2006 at 5:23 am

    Hey. Hope the drive is going well and your Serius radio is keeping you sane. Seems strange that you don’t live in Raleigh anymore. But now we’ll have someone else to visit when we’re in LA.

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