The Hazel Project

I know how T is about shoes. So I hope you dig it T.

The lady I rent my room from asked if I was interested in attending a Yom Kippur service with her at the synagogue. I was blown away. It was the first time I’ve ever been invited to a synagogue or an event like that. The Jewish high holidays are a big deal and particularly Yom Kippur; since it’s about asking forgiveness from others.
A few days before Yom Kippur which began at sundown Sunday Oct. 1st. and lasts past sundown the next day. And there is a service both nights. That was all I knew. To help me out I’d been given some Yom Kippur literature to read and 5 Orthodox laws and customs before the sunday service. They are:

1. You may abstain from food & drink.
2. You may abstain from bathing.
3. You may abstain from sexual relations.
4. You may abstain from jewlery & leather. Including leather shoes.
5. you may abstain from oil or perfume adornment.

So I’m reading all this and I’m getting the vibe of it.
Number one kinda threw me a bit but I could live without eating for 24 hours. Number two I could participate if everybody at the service was smelling funky. Number three has been ridiculously easy.
Number four was the one that got me; All my shoes are leather, even the sandals,
I’m gonna need appropriate shoes.

So I walk to Sunset blvd. and find the ‘Discount Shoe Warehouse’, and sit down in front of the Converse isle.

I was excited for two reasons. I’ve always wanted a pair of Converse and these shoes are perfect for the Yom Kippur service because they’re made of canvas. Plus, they’ll help bring me one step closer to blending in my environment.

I noticed all colors & all types. I want black. Just black. There were black with black toe, black with white toe, black plain, black hi-tops, black with skull and cross bones. After 30 minutes of effort getting hip to style and size I look in most every box to find the last pair of 9 1/2 black hi tops. Now for the the moment of truth. Lacing them up!

The display shoes on the shelf have this new style of lacing that I think 3rd graders invented. It’s about having the string laced horizontally from hole to hole all the way up the shoe; instead of crossed laced. Of course in order to fit in and raise my hip-ness factor I want them laced that way.

My mind takes off:

<>What if I saw “hoopnotica” at a party?
(their must see video lives here:)
http://hoopnotica.com/welcome
They’d say-”dig the lacing job on those black hi top converse…what’s your name? do you play percussion?”I would be oh-so-pleased with my Converse purchasing decision.

The truth is after many minutes of experimenting with this arcane lacing method I became flustered. Apparently what looks simple on the outside makes a twisted mess on the inside. This is either for knot theorists, to figure out. OR a very young person. So I took my carefully selected black, white toe, hi-tops to the teenaged employee.

I think I was freaking everyone out taking so long. But this was important; I wanted to fit in!

She found my “moderno lacing” request endearing, smiled kindly and took my box of shoes to her friend; another teenager hanging WEEKEND SALE signs. Her friend knew immediately what to do and worked on my shoes about 12 1/2 minutes. During this time I walked around looking at different brands the Warehouse carried. They also sold clothes that seemed to be way in style. A style that I particularly wanted to stay away from.

I go to check on the free lacing job. She did good work. They looked perfect, with all the laces down instead of all twisted in the middle. I look inside the shoe and it looked like a quilt had been made on the right side of the holes. I tease her and ask if I’m going to be able to get my foot in there and she says ‘yeah… well er maybe.’ Then she just dismissed it and said, “if you need them laced up again just bring them back and I’ll do it for you.” I felt like Kramer when he hired his own personal intern. My own personal Shoe Lace Assistant!

I paid my $32 and change. The cashier was so pleased I was finally leaving the store she gave me a free CD holder to clip on my VW sun visor.

And now I was ready.

To go to Yom Kippur;

then start an “emo” band.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Stephen A. Thomas

This entry was posted on Friday, October 13th, 2006 at 8:21 pm and is filed under on the path, posts & stories . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.